Well... I realize that if I don't try online dating, I might as well become a nun. Where in the world would I meet someone? Trader Joe's? Work? Church? Doesn't seem very realistic, so I'm giving it a shot. I posted my profile on greensingles.com. So far it is the only site that doesn't completely freak me out having my picture on it. Everyone on there is a happy hippy, perhaps the love of my life is out there and will find me with just a single click.
Strange how having someone in your life is so important. I wonder why it is that I am so content on finding that certain someone. I think because it is something I have never had. Sure, I was in a marriage for 12 years. But it wasn't real. We had some good moments, but I wasn't really loved for who I was and I suppose I didn't equally love my spouse back. It is sad, isn't it? Why does that happen? How is there a spark so strong in the beginning and then it just goes? There were a lot of signs when dating that it wasn't right... but I was very young and didn't quite know what to do.
I know that being in a relationship can be difficult and that you have to make compromises. I understand that it isn't always a walk in the park... but I believe I have the personality for it to truly be a walk in the park. I just have to find that certain someone that is a good match for me. Who will be that perfect someone? Who will come into my life, with a song in their heart and love in their eyes? When will it happen? Will I have to search or will he just show up on my doorstep? Oh life... you are tricky.
I have never heard of greensingles.com but it sounds like something that fits you! Heck, had I known about it in my single days I might have tried it out (I'm not a vegan but I am all about everything green, so much so I often get made fun of living in the city that I do!)
ReplyDeleteI tried plentyoffish.com, match.com and eharmony.com off an on for a couple of years when I was single. I found myself often being VERY judgemental of profiles which led to very few dates because I would often dismiss men for a single sentence on their profile. The dates that I did have led to some very entertaining evenings, like the guy that dodged under the table for shelter when a balloon popped in the restaurant (he had been to Iraq a time or two as he was an officer in the military). I quickly decided he had mental issues I wasn't about to deal with, lol!
And then there is the guy that over dinner asked me how many friends I have. Who asks that kind of question?! I said I had no idea and there was no way I could begin counting, I had friends I grew up with, family friends, high school friends, college friends, work friends, friends of friends, etc, etc, etc and he said "I have two friends" and couldn't understand how I couldn't count how many friends I have. Again, mental issues, I wrapped up dinner and excused myself!
Oh, and then there was the guy who I had a great date with, we talked for hour and then a couple of days later when we were talking on the phone he told how he had told his family about me and wanted to bring me home to meet the family..... WTF, after a SINGLE date?! Ummmmm..... NO, that screams "I'm desperate!"
And there is the guy who thought a first great date would be to a sports bar and all he was willing to buy me was an appetizer, he wanted to watch sports instead of talk, well, for someone who isn't into football I made up an excuse and ran! I was really beginning to think that it was me attracting these strange men even after being so judgemental of the profiles (which I quickly decided men love to lie to be someone they really aren't on their profiles just to get a date!)
I don't mean to discourage you, I actually have A LOT of friends who met online and got married and have GREAT marriages. Seeing so many of my friends meet online I thought for sure it would work out for me at some point and it just didn't!
I closed my online dating accounts (I was SO frustrated and decided I was over the online dating thing and decided I would rather be single forever than have another awkward date). Shortly after closing my accounts I had some friends who set me up with someone I had actually know for ten years. My friends were convinced we would be perfect and convinced us we needed to take our friendship into the next level and start dating. Turns out they knew what they were talking about!
After two years of frustration with online dating I end up dating someone I had known since college. All I have to say is thank goodness for friends!
Good luck, try to have fun along the way and remember even the worst dates turn into great stories for later! You will find your meant to be, just don't be in a rush, have fun, enjoy being single as well (I discovered that being totally single for 3 years was the best time of my life aside from the occasional awkward date). I grew A LOT in those 3 years and I'm glad I had that time to discover who I was on my own.
I look forward to following your blog!
Summernicole... you are one inspiring gal! :) I have a feeling, I'm going to have a similar story to yours a bit down the road. It seems that there are going to be quite a few awkward dates... that will be bizarre when I'm in the midst of them, but hilarious when I'm out. I suppose if I look at them like an adventure in discovering myself along the way, then it could be one amazing journey.
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy for you that you found your meant to be. :) Friends are a powerful force, perhaps mine will also have a lookout for me and choose my ideal dreamboat. Until then, I'll hike, laugh and learn what it means to be me and allow myself the odd day of being a pissed off, depressed psychopath. :)