Have you ever filed for divorce? No? Really? Well... if there is ANY possible you can avoid it, do! My brain has been sucked out of my head and deposited all over the universe. Why are there so many rules? Why can't I just sign one piece of paper? Talk about a process that really messes with your mind.
I've been reading, dissecting and becoming one with my Christmas present to myself, a book titled, Do It Yourself Divorce. So, now I've read it and I think I understand it pretty well. Basically, tomorrow is the day that I can officially file. I have established my residency in California... tomorrow will be exactly 6 months. For the grand sum of $395 paid to the court, my case begins. Hmmm... my case officially begins, my marriage officially ends. Bittersweet.
I really didn't want to have more than one spouse in my life. I had these amazingly romantic notions of growing old with the one I love. Sitting on a front porch on my farm, rocking in a swing with the love of my life, reminiscing about the good old days. But I don't have a farm, a swing or a front porch for that matter. So... I guess it's really not that big of a deal if I don't have a love of my life right now either. Maybe I just need to focus on what I do have and work from there. It is a better place to be, recognizing the good in your life - compared to missing something you don't even have.
I've procrastinated long enough. I'm going to fill out the forms. Tomorrow is the big day.
I know what you mean about the love of your life syndrome. Yes, I'm calling it a syndrome. I had it too. Maybe secretly, I still do. But anymore I just don't know how much of it is cinema born and how much is real life, especially these days. There are so many distractions anymore. It's hard to find people not absorbed in the sex culture and distracted by momentary or robotic pleasures like t.v. and porn. Uggh.
ReplyDeleteI think finding someone that loves you for you is hard to do and it's even harder, when you finally find that person, to let go and let them love you after a lifetime of not being loved in that way. But there has to be some rainbow of light out there, where it's okay to let go and not be afraid anymore. But now I'm just venting my own fears, oops :)
You are such a strong woman. Everything will work out. Keep your chin up and your hand steady as your signing the paperwork.
Did I really use your instead of you're?! oh geez.
ReplyDelete